The "New Band To Burn One To" today is The Blue Screen of Death.
It was an eerily calm day one Spring many years ago. Overhead the sky was a perfect blue screen, still and silent as the grave. Below the sky five complete strangers, young men expecting an uneventful journey, shuffled awkwardly into an elevator.
As each stood in his own area of personal space, lost in his own personal thoughts, a curious thing happened. So curious in fact that it sounds kinda made up...
Unknown but seriously fucking cool powers were at work that day. Powers which like their rock music filthy and their rock musicians filthier. These powers simultaneously infected all 5 young men, caused them to stand in 5 specific spots, their intertwining thought waves drawing a psychic pentagram through the air, and instantly they knew one another.
They knew Steve; a frenzied bundle of nervous energy and improbable hair. Their brains were flooded with the punchlines to a thousand tasteless jokes and an encyclopedic knowledge of Dutch caravanning site.
But most of all they knew that he could write songs, and sing them, and play them on the guitar too.
They knew Pete; a man who effortlessly appeared to have a surplus of limbs and digits and who invented a party game involving attributing world religions to classical composers, called 'Haydn Sikh'.
But most of all they knew that he played a mean lead guitar, and looked fucking cool doing so.
They knew Paul; the human representation of The Shipping Forecast being read by David Suchet, who in his spare time runs a website focussed exclusively on talking about how great female geese are, at www.propergander.org.
But most of all they knew that he could put the 'ass' into 'bass', in a good way.
They knew Harry; a thousand-year-old Shogun who could circumcise a gnat from 50 yards away with a shuriken, thrown with his left hand, while blindfolded and simultaneously preparing a delicious chocolate soufflé.
But most of all they knew that he could play drums, all the drums, often several at the same time.
And they knew Tom; a robot who was once a man, or possibly a man who was once a robot, no-one is entirely sure. His cyborg qualities allowing him to flirt his way into the affections of every computer program and piece of technical hardware in existence.
But most of all they knew that he could play keyboards with a skill that allowed him to pleasure an entire audience with just his fingers.
This intense exchange of brain thoughts overpowered the five minds, and the bodies collapsed in a fleshy pile of latent awesomeness, where they have lain dormant.
These five lads from Southampton, UK lay down some very twisted sometimes funky riff-induced psychedelic jams. The songs are well thought out and are jammy without getting boring. Within their sound I hear anything from Smashing Pumpkins to Queens of the Stone Age. Check out their latest EP below on Bandcamp and see for yourself.