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Thursday, March 27, 2014

LP Review - "Blood Eagle" by Conan

It has been nigh-on 2 years since Conan's first full length "Monnos" was released and in that time this 3 piece from Liverpool, UK, have caused major devastation across Europe and beyond, smashing down buildings and pummeling bodies to mush and leaving many battered but die hard fans in their bloody wake. "Monnos" is one heavy fucking album, as indeed is anything that Conan puts to record and their latest release "Blood Eagle" out on Napalm Records is no exception. In fact, Conan have managed to out heavy themselves with "Blood Eagle" to the point that I'm certain that if everyone in the world played this album at the same time, our planet would collapse in on herself and a black hole would form in her center and our galaxy and others nearby would fall into it. What lies on the other side of Conan's black hole? Probably just an infinite tone so very low that it makes even the oldest of the gods shit themselves.

So then "Blood Eagle" is such a pants shittingly heavy, universe breaking and god worrying album that it could be of great interest to the military forces of any warring country simply due to the destructive power of Conan's reality damaging riffs. In the wrong hands we would be absolutely truly fucked but thankfully, in Conan's very capable and very heavy hands, you not only manage to get away with a feeling of having had the holy living crap beaten out of you for 40+ minutes, you also come away filled with all the joys of existence and a satisfaction and relief in knowing that powerful psychopaths are unlikely to ever hear Conan and if they ever do we can only hope they would not understand their devastating potential.

Just like many of the most significant moments in our lives, we always remember where we were at the time, and hearing "Blood Eagle" for the first time has forever embedded into my memory a thickly fogged mountain that I stomped to bits in my imagination as those brute forced pounding Conan riffs entered my ears through headphones as I descended said mountain, shrouded in a thick blanket of shining white fog. The earth crumbled and cracked beneath my boots as I stomped my way down, driven on by Conan's wondrously low and slow riffs and booming, damaging drums whilst their called out, chanted vocals echoed through the dense fog like celtic warrior ghosts calling out for their lost battle axes.

I wisely grabbed the opportunity to hear Conan play live recently whilst they've been on tour in the UK. I stood up front for their entire set and was thoroughly pummeled into a doughy mass and I came away a dribbling mess with ears that rang for days after and a body that felt like it been beaten repeatedly for a prolonged period of time; but every planet imploding riff was savored and relished and I loved every single devastatingly crushing second of it.

Turn up loud and bear witness:

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